United States v. Linda Hamilton
Defense Argument by Perry Mason
Your Honor, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, and Dr. Silberman,
We stand at the precipice of human history, the Doomsday Clock ticking ever closer to midnight. A nuclear holocaust is no longer the stuff of paranoid fantasy—it is a very real possibility. It is in times such as these, times of great tribulation, that humanity seeks hope in those willing to sacrifice everything to safeguard the future.
Linda Hamilton—Sarah Connor, the name by which many know her—has been accused of madness, of dangerous delusions. But I ask this court: is it truly madness to prepare for what is inevitable? Is it criminal to act in defense of a future that the very experts of our time warn us is in jeopardy? No, Your Honor. It is noble—perhaps the noblest act imaginable—to even attempt to bring forth a savior in an era that seems destined for destruction.
Ms. Hamilton stands before you trapped in a Catch-22, a cruel paradox:
- If she does nothing, she is negligent in her duty to the future.
- If she takes action, she is deemed insane.
This is damned if you do, damned if you don’t at its most tragic.
But what is the true crime here? Is it the actions of a mother trying to protect her child and the future of humanity? Or is it the system that seeks to medicate, suppress, and silence those who see the coming storm and dare to sound the alarm?
Dr. Silberman, I do not question your expertise, but I plead with you to reconsider the course of action taken against Ms. Hamilton. Rather than imprisoning her mind under the fog of psychotropic drugs, let us instead extend a hand of reason and rehabilitation. Allow her to become a voluntary patient, free from the chemical restraints that dull her brilliance and her vision.
Orthomolecular medicine has long provided an alternative to the forced sedation of those deemed “unfit” by society. Let Ms. Hamilton be given the vitamin therapy, the natural healing that will restore her vitality and sharpen her mind—not dull it.
Your Honor, history has a way of vindicating those once branded as heretics and madmen. Today, you have a choice. Will you condemn Sarah Connor, or will you recognize that sometimes, those who see the future most clearly are not insane—they are simply ahead of their time?
I rest my case.
Pope John Paul III’s Statement on Linda Hamilton
“In a world teetering on the edge of destruction, where war and violence threaten the very fabric of humanity, we must recognize the courage of those who seek to preserve life, not condemn them. Linda Hamilton, in her attempt to bring forth a savior, has committed one of the most selfless and noble acts a woman can undertake. In her devotion to this mission, she reminds me, in a way, of the Blessed Virgin Mary—who, too, bore a son destined to change the world.”
“Scripture teaches us that great suffering often precedes salvation. Sarah Connor, as portrayed by Linda Hamilton, suffers not for her own gain, but for the hope of generations yet to come. She carries a burden that few could withstand, and yet she does so with unwavering resolve. Is this not the very definition of faith? Of sacrifice?”
“I implore those in power, those who would judge her, to see beyond the constraints of modern psychiatry and bureaucracy. Let her not be dismissed as mad, but recognized as a mother with a mission. And if we, as a people, truly believe in the sanctity of life and the possibility of redemption, then let us support her—not imprison her. For who among us can say with certainty what the future holds? And who are we to stand in the way of divine providence?”
“May God grant wisdom to those who make these decisions, and may Linda Hamilton—like all those who suffer for righteousness—find justice.”